Showing posts with label consumer marketing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consumer marketing. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

The Perils of Shipping worldwide

For many of our customers shipping is a 'no brainer'. Something you never think about.
You order a product. It arrives. That is the end of it.

But when, like us, you are shipping from the other side of the planet, delivery can be a difficult thing.

Not only do we have to put up with the vagaries of the weather, which can delay a flight from here to there and add to the time it take to get delivered, but there is constant concern that something may go dramatically wrong with a shipment; imagine how people must have felt when their products vanished because they are on a commercial airliner that either fell out of the sky or disappeared without trace!

Luckily this is a very rare occurrence...and has never happened to us. Until now.

Recently we were excited to sign with DHL for delivery of our product worldwide. Not only do they have an outstanding reputation as a global shipper, they enable us to track every product that leaves our facilities in New Zealand - all the way (almost) through to delivery to the customer.

When added to yet another shipping service called 'aftership' this combination is one that we have been awaiting eagerly ever since we started this business almost 18 years ago - that is some time!

Still...we are mortified to report that DHL - or someone somewhere- seems to have dropped the ball.
A shipment we sent December 3 has gone missing. Obviously our affected customers are less than happy with us. Understandably we are not that impressed either.

In a world where shipping is everything...we feel our reputation is in jeopardy. While most customers are extremely forgiving and understanding, some take such disruption personally and have not been slow in venting their displeasure to us.We in turn have passed our concerns to our local DHL customer representative, who have, in turn, escalated the issue through the shipper's global delivery network.

Because every package has a tracking number on it we believe the errant items will eventually make a reappearance. Unfortunately it may not be soon enough to forestall our replacing the missing items or finalising a refund.  Such are the joys of being a global trader in a world where one small error can cause a long-lasting downstream effect.

To all those long standing Nutshell customers...thanks for being so understanding. If you are one who has been caught in this maelstrom...rest assured we are working hard to untangle knots in the shipping string.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Your Nutshell Can Now be Hand Delivered

Confirmed Delivery; Challenging from Down Under


At Nutshell we pride ourselves on giving the best possible service; it is one of the primary reasons our customers maintain their loyalty. What we say we deliver we do our best to deliver.

And if it doesn't work out nobody is more disappointed than us.

Because of our 'distance to market' our options when it comes to choosing delivery systems are limited - and primarily based on cost effectiveness. For over 15 years we have watched as market options have appeared, vanished into the ebb and flow of the tidal global commerce systems, and risen once again. Often that revival is accompanied by a more cost effective approach too.

Sometimes the reason to reject a shipping option is based on our customer feedback.

Like the time we used a shipping service that took our export deliveries in a bundle up into Singapore and then distributed them to all parts of the globe.

Nothing too unusual in that you would think. Except for the complaints we started getting from our more elderly customers in the United States and elsewhere . They claimed we were not making our products in New Zealand. And they remembered the Pacific war! All because the intermediary Singapore step resulted in our packages getting an added Asian stamp!

Transportation is one of those factors that can weigh heavy on any exporter, along with the changeable currency rates, and the service we use  needs to be the best possible to make our customers feel as comfortable as possible.

Within the blink of an eye that Singapore service was terminated; there really is nothing worse for a marketer than waking up to dozens of angry notes from customer threatening to never again darken our doorway, all because they have the wrong end of the stick..

Recently, however, that proved to not be the case. Over a year ago we were approached by a reputable shipping company and offered the ability to provide added security for our shipment, with the option of a signature required service. Unfortunately for us, we were told, and assumed, that this service would be accompanied by a tracking scheme that would let customers go hunt for their individual tracking information by trawling the world's shipping and tracking services. Usually these are maintained by individual postal services and the scanning process is pretty much a necessary formality in this day and age of advanced wariness about trans-border freight and security.

That's what you would think. But often reality is stranger than fiction.

The reality is that the service we elected to engage to make sure that our deliveries were  by hand delivered and required a signature to finalize, were not always scanned as they passed from the local 'down-under;' postal delivery system. We have pressed for answers; most times delivery can be tracked, but only if the product is crossing the border into the United States, where it often gets scanned at the gate. But that's not always the case. While our local Postal service cannot offer us this signature-required registered-mail service we get from that third party supplier, they do not scan the item as it leaves the country. Why? Darned if I know, and I have asked.

That's why we now offer a new Hand Delivery Option; we know and you know you are going to get your nutshell and that it will be delivered by a person who will ask that a signature is provided before the shipment is handed over. What we cannot, at this time, assure you is that you will be able to track it door to door.

It's not an enviable position to find ourselves in, and we are very disappointed that it seems some organisations do not play well together.

Rest assured we are working to find a solution that combines the best of all worlds to make it affordable to offer our customers' a fail-safe and affordable shipping service that delivered on time, every time and let each deliver be tracked, door to door.

Happy Christmas 2014




Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Grand Design

We are likely best known for our holsters, but it is not all we do. Over the years we have added value for many, many individual customers. It's part of being a bespoke merchant and creating products that people actually want.

It's also how we come to create new products. The options we offer on our holsters and belt cases are the results of customers' requests.

The previous post extolled the virtues of our smartphone folder/holder wallet-like leather cover for almost any smartphone under 5.5" long.

This post shows off two of our bespoke belt pouches...larger than a holster...not as big as a tablet case, and certainly larger than the two horizontal holsters we offer for the iPhone and similar sized smartphones with "medium" sized accessories.

The smaller one was originally developed for the HTC X7510 Advantage handheld that came out several years ago. Next we responded to user requests and created a second case to hold that device wrapped in a leather book-like cover.

The result?
Two leather belt pouches.




Similar in design, side seams, great leather, lined with our ultra-suede...but maybe they can be improved?

Larger Size: 6" L x 5" W x 1.25" D
SKU: WN76512
Smaller Size: 5" L x 3.5" W x 1" D
SKU WN75351
The smaller sample also has an inside-the-back business card holder, which is nice.

It means we have the patterns, so we don't have to walk through the lengthy and time consuming and costly development process.

Now all we have to do is revisit the pricing models, arrange the supplier, create the GTIN wholesale barcode and our NUTCC ASIN, fine tune the descriptions and work out the true costs and benefits; make sure the packaging is acceptable, think about the rich text HTML and the high quality studio images that we'll need to bring the product to the consumer...make sure the rebates and affiliate structures are in place and acceptable, and work on suitable wholesale pricing (with enough margin for all concerned).

No worries...

to be continued...
;-)

We Don't Make the Rules

It's one thing to come up with an idea. It is totally something else to make it real.




This is a sneak-peek at a development based on the Walnut, our all-in-one combination phone wallet/credit-card/note carrier covered in genuine leather with a protective phone platform built right in.

But we don't make the rules. You do.
And sometimes you tell us what you want and give us another idea.
Like this.

So - unlike the Walnut this folder has nothing inside...except for not one but two protective phone platforms and a lining that accepts a pad and lets you place the phone/accessory combination inside the folder which ever way works best - for you.



With a platform size of 5 1/2" tall x 3" wide this folder will hold an amazing number of current Smartphones.  And because we have deliberately made the folder with a generous 1" spine, it will easily fold over and close on a heavy duty and large sized accessory -  like a battery or rugged protection cover - no problems at all.




Take a look at our Picasa images on the project.

Tell us what you think.
Better still, tell us you want one.

This little beauty will retail for USD$39.95.
We consider that's an attractive MSRP - for a slice of genuine leather and some sharp Kiwi protective innovation. And we'll sharpen the pencil.

We have given it an internal SKU: WN53750.
But that's not really a name - is it? 
So...what on earth are we going to call it?
Any ideas?


Monday, January 2, 2012

Now is the Time for All Good Folk...

The Nutshell story is possibly quite typical of many innovative businesses; starting small, pursuing the dream and somehow making it through the myriad pitfalls and landmines of being a developmental caterpillar to eventually emerge from its chrysalis as a fully formed butterfly. Hopefully not as short lived as many of that species, and certainly not in the same 'insect' category, but with every intention of spreading its wings and soaring, onwards and upwards toward the light.

Over the past twelve years we have experienced just about every sort of catastrophe that can befall any modern business; website and shopping cart hassles, the untimely death of a business partner - is there ever such a thing as a 'timely' death? - cash flow problems, business BS, product failures and recalls and customer interactivity. In all a plethora of situations that have tested the group and led to the winnowing-out of those unable to cope with the continual stress and uncertainty.

But it has not all been gloom and doom; our customers are the most fantastic folk we could ever wish for. Caring and understanding to a fault; the expressions of sympathy and concern following the personal calamities were heartwarming and provided the impetus for those of us who remain to continue. After all, with over twenty thousand loyal customers, how could we just roll over, wave our legs in the air and give up without a fight?

Development

But the most heartening development was a totally unexpected invitation from Seattle. Out of the blue the online retail giant Amazon invited us to become a vendor in its fledgling wireless accessory space. More interestingly, from a business development point of view, the invitation is the only one ever offered, according to Amazon, to any organisation from within the Australasian area. Surely an honor to be welcomed, and warmly accepted with approbation.

This invite would take another two years to mature and Nutshell is now shipping small amounts of select product across the Pacific into two of Amazon's fulfillment centers. In the initial product list we've included the smartphone wallet and a small, carefully selected range of regular belt cases, all in black leather with either mag-tab or mag-flap and the choice of clip or loop, or just as a plain no frills pouch. Initially we are offering Amazonian smartphone users these product options in three sizes, #258, #260 and #208, to accommodate today's most popular smartphones and the growing range of accessory covers.

As we accept our second restock, at ten pieces per item, we are facing a whole new set of challenges associated with the management of the ordering, logistic and payment cycles.

So far the exercise has caused us to appreciate the process of creating industry standard product listings and definitions, along with their attendant identifications. A set of code for each and every variation - internal SKU begets GTIN barcodes, which in turn beget Amazon ASIN product codes - enable us to offer a growing range to consumers through one of the world's major sales portals.

Growth

We recognize the extreme need for accuracy, in both product specification and descriptions. Even so, it is still very much a case of "not knowing what you don't know you need to know," until you've screwed it up at least once. And that learning takes time. And patience. And money.

One thing we do now know for certain; the need for professionalism and deep pockets to meet the start-up costs of product and people-power has never been more important. As we stand poised on the brink of the very real prospect of having to satisfy a customer with an insatiable appetite it's global business learnt the hard way. No how-to manuals here. No shortcuts.

To learn how to be an Amazon Vendor also means I'll be climbing on a jet plane and heading, like Mohamed, to the mountain that is Las Vegas and the annual International CES (Consumer Electronics Show) next Monday, January 9. While Amazon Services is conducting a series of midweek induction seminars that will be an invaluable experience, as a fully paid up International affiliate member of the Consumer Electronics Association, I'm thinking there will be lots of potential allies and business partners to assist Nutshell be the best it can in a very competitive global marketplace.

Export Potential

We know that, even as a proven 'cottage industry' exporter with a very real potential for rapid growth, we cannot achieve this on our own.

If Nutshell is to 'cross the chasm' to become a successful Australasian exporter into one of the world's largest retailers with a huge and disparate customer base, the company needs, more than ever, strategic manufacturing and financial partnerships and, above all, support.

At a time when business needs more co-operation and less antagonism to overcome the significant global hurdles that face us all, it would surely be a crying shame to stumble and fall.

Cheers,
Ian
NUTSHELL

Touch Base
PS:: If you are planning to be in Vegas and want to say hi, enter the friend code: 699-829 in the CES app and drop me a note. I'd love to meet up..

A Mobile Game of Swings and Roundabouts

Welcome to 2012.

There is nothing as scary as an industry caught in the grip of innovative improvements.

That, in a Nutshell, is the mobile phone industry; an industry that is relentlessly devoted to continual improvement, innovation and the adoption of the latest in form factors and presentation techniques.

In the past twelve years we have watched as technologies have merged and blurred the lines between mobile phones and hand held computers.

The iPhone has a lot to answer for; Steve Jobs and his visions guided (some would say led by the nose) the industry through yet another set of birthing pangs and entranced users with advanced technologies that swiftly became 'old hat' as their replacements and upgrades roll out on a regular basis. A schedule that will never cease to amaze, astound and, sometimes even bewilder the user.

And as the technologies embodied in today's latest mobile devices get smarter, faster and lighter, thinner and 'bigger' (in storage terms) the physical attributes of phones continues to alter. Where once handheld devices were almost 'brick' sized, today's latest devices are fast becoming wafer thin, yet embody developments that many would have considered impossible only a few short years ago.

Moore's Law dictates that processing power doubles every 18 months, and the mobile phone industry is an embodiment of this; there are no signs of slow-down, and none of any zenith or pinnacle being reached any time soon.

And just as the horsepower inside continues to relentlessly increase processing power, network inter-connectivity and storage, external formats continue to change and morph; where once device designers were intent on making their creations as small as possible, it would appear that the pendulum has once again swung in favour of larger displays, resulting in larger overall dimensions. Although thinner than their predecessors, new phones have grown to emulate their ancestors' overall larger physical properties.

Of course this would throw a lesser manufacturer of cases into a tizz of indecision. But not Nutshell; as a company that has developed along with the industry we serve, we have already crafted larger format cases for earlier generations of handhelds and mobile phones. These cases, which we once thought would never again see the light of day, are being dusted off and re-presented to accommodate the next generations of smartphones.

It really is a game of swings and roundabouts.



Saturday, May 21, 2011

Challenges from the Trenches

 At Nutshell there is a constant barrage of requests for cases to hold a never ending tsunami of mobile devices. Which we, of course, welcome. Let it never end, say we.

But just how do we create the listing you see below, which lives in the Samsung category of our online catalog and enables you to buy your own tailor-made Nutshell?



We take the dimensions of the device (the height, the width and the depth of the device), gleaned from at least three different places on the 'net, and then match them to the nominal internal dimensions of our cases. In nine out of ten times we will, almost instantly, find a match; an existing case that will squeeze or flatten sufficiently to very comfortably protect the device in a snug leather-covered enclosure.

Very occasionally matching a Nutshell to a device (or an accessory cover) can prove to be a more daunting challenge. Especially when the manufacturer of the accessory case has gone out of its way to give the cover some unique properties to make it harder to drop...or to accidentally leave lying around.

The hardest material to match to (so far) has been the new range of accessories using super-sticky silicon on the places where the user holds them. This material can prove problematic, as it can be so sticky it makes it difficult to extract the device from a case that would otherwise be a neat and tidy fit. In these cases we have to (by trial and error) re-size our suggestion so that, to comfortably hold the device and be big enough to make it  easy to extract, the case actually has to have more space inside.

We really appreciate the input. If you give us a heads up on a new device, the best way we can show our appreciation is by accompanying our reply with a discount code. It is our small way of saying "thanks".



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Welcome to 2011

Happy New Year. A new start to yet another series of seconds minutes hours days and months...which will all add up to be 2011. What will it bring?
Doubtless, many things, but in the world of mobile you can be sure of one thing - many, many more mobile devices.
Already CES is behind us; an annual talk fest and show'n'tell that attracts media attention to this niche market like no other. A place where new devices are rolled out and expectant vendors watch carefully to see if the passersby react positively, it at all. Many of these 'new' devices will doubtless sink without trace - for a variety of reasons. Too big. Too small. Even too much "me too". Marketing will trumpet the advantages and advances.  But in the end you, the consumer, will be the King maker; after all it will be your dollars that determine who will rise and who will fall.
Is smaller better? Are tablets finally going to 'come of age' and embrace multiple operating systems in a manner that makes sense to us all - handwriting recognition, long the preserve of Microsoft's mobile tablet platform may begin to appear on other devices driven by other operating systems. Or will it? I would not hold my breath on that.
Regardless of the different devices that will raise their collective heads above the parapet in the coming year, you can rest assured that Nutshell will be there in support, with our growing range of product offerings to provide protection for what, after all, are fast becoming increasingly sophisticated devices.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Nutshell iPad Pouch V3

For weeks now we have been laboring to create the definitive iPad pouch; one that is not "me too" and one that will stand the test of time when it comes to providing a safe haven for your iPad (or any other keyboard-less tablet style device.

And, by Jove, we think we've almost got it! 
We've managed to hide the hairies!!



This pouch is lined with a natural antistatic fiber and reinforced with an anti-hygroscopic (meaning it will not get loaded with moisture along the way) padding.

Plus we insert a sheet of stiff polypropylene in the lining on one side to provide protection for that critically vulnerable screen.

The closure and clasp are still in development, as are the final dimensions of this pouch for the iPad; we don't want it too fit, just tight enough to provide a soft and comfortable enclosure.

The current clasp is an adaptation of our single magnet shielded clasp, designed to minimize any stray magnetism inside the case.

The leather is top grade New Zealand bovine (cow-hide).
Hopefully you can get the idea; this is going to be one of the BEST pouches ever to protect an iPad.

It will provide a perfect, discrete cover that can be slipped into a briefcase or satchel or toted by hand from one meeting to the next.

Costs are always an issue; the materials selection here is not cheap.

One lesson we have learnt the hard way over the years is; "If you are producing quality then don't skimp."

Another is; "Don't cut corners just for the sake of a few bucks".

So we haven't.

We are getting very close to listing this product - once we have finalized continuity of supply details; so that we don't make that age-old mistake of promising a lot, and then having problems delivering.

Thanks for hanging it there with us on this development.

We can promise you this;  "It will be worth the wait."

Monday, May 10, 2010

Playing possum

If you are dead but just don't know it...you could be said to be playing possum.

But for us down here down-under the possum is no joke.
The little blighters are eating our country - at an alarming rate.

Brushtail Possum - the Facts

By choosing a product containing Possum fur, you are helping save the birds and forests of New Zealand.

The New Zealand Brushtail Possum (sometimes known as Kiwi Bear and definitely NOT to be confused with the short-haired American Opposum) produces an opulent, luxurious fur which is 8% warmer and 14% lighter than wool. Its soft and silky fiber is hollow, so it retains heat and repels moisture, making it extremely warm to wear. It is regarded as the third warmest fur in the world, behind the Arctic Fox and Polar Bear. It also has unique anti-static qualities, making it a perfect complement to our range of top quality leather products to protect your top-end electronics.

The Brushtail Possum is not a native of New Zealand - it came to New Zealand from Australia, where the landscape there learnt long ago to protect itself against these sharp toothed devils. Today the ex-Aussie Brushtail Possum is destroying the birds and the forests of New Zealand in ever increasing numbers!

In New Zealand, the Brushtail Possum is an introduced species which has become a pest of mammoth proportions. At Nutshell, we agree with many other local manufacturers and merchants who believe that a commercially driven approach towards maximizing a return from a pest that is an environmental and ecological disaster is the only effective way to control the possum problem.

Why is the Possum a pest?

The Brushtail Possum was introduced into the South Island of NZ from Australia in the 1800’s with the well-intentioned objective of establishing a fur trade. That's when things went wrong. In its native land of Australia, the Brushtail Possum population is contained by dingoes, bush fires and less palatable vegetation.

But in New Zealand there are no natural controls; the population grew and grew and grew...and grew. Today the Brushtail Possum population is now of epidemic proportions.

It is estimated that there are approximately 70 million Brushtail Possums in New Zealand, and they devour nearly eight million tonnes of native trees and vegetation annually. This equates to the Brushtail Possum population munching its collective way through 20,000 tonnes or 4,000 truckloads of native forest every night!

In addition to their voracious appetites for our native forests, Brushtail Possums can also act as carriers of bovine tuberculosis, which may be transmitted to cattle and other farm stock.

And...in addition to destroying our native bush and harboring pestilence, the Brushtail Possum eats the eggs and young of native birds, including our own flightless bird and the symbol of our land, the Kiwi.

In New Zealand, it is illegal to...

* Farm possums.
* Keep possums as pets.
* To use traps that cause pain and suffering (a native animal may accidentally get caught and needs to be released unharmed).
* To sell or use any possum culled as part of the official eradication program.

We do none of these things. We believe it is our duty to do what we can to help our country rid itself of the possum.

However, considering there are an estimated 70 million possums that are very alive and well and munching their way through our forests, it could take some time.

Monday, January 11, 2010

New Phones - finally....a common size is emerging

Since 1997 Nutshell has been offering its cases for PDAs, smartphones, cellphones and other mobile devices and ever since we started we have been steadily increasing the number of cases we offer. Mostly this has been as a result of the cellphone manufacturers constantly tweaking the sizes of their devices.

Because traditionally our cases have been lined with a synthetic plush material to keep those devices pristine and like new, we have sometimes had to create a totally new size to fit; if we offer you a product that is 'near enough' but 'not quite' it takes very little time for you, our customers, to let us know we have made an error.

However these days it appears that the majority of new devices coming to market are starting to standardize on the size format - the iPhone size.

Obviously, love them or hate them, the iPhone has struck a cord with other device manufacturers as being a handy size that works well for most users; the screen size is good eough to display images and app information without forcing the user to wear a set of reading glasses. And the shape is one that fits well in most hands, regardless of the size or sex of the user.

That makes life a whole lot easier for us as suppliers; having a consistent size means we can concentrate on delivering better product in a more timely fashion; every day we make our cases based on web sales and, even though we have a steady stream of corporate orders in the pipeline, different sized cases to match the many, and many different phones in the marketplace means our folk have to be seriously on their game when it comes to selecting the correct knives and components to make the cases.

Of course, the work never stops; there is a constant stream of product passing from our manufacturing facility to our dispatch team and out into the mail system to finally make it to your mailbox.

And even if the phone vendors have decided that a common form factor works, we are now experiencing a proliferation of add-on accessories in the shape of extra life batteries and protective skins. Each of these has to be matched against our cases to provide you the product fit and quality you have come to expect from Nutshell over the years.

So...the game never ends. Just the shapes change with the passage of time.

If you have a product that you need us to find you a case for, please add the dimensions (length x width x depth) when you make an inquiry.

Although we can usually find the information someplace in the cyber-sphere, it does save time if we know immediately what sized Nutshell you are looking for.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Refreshing Content can be Painfully Critical

If there is one thing I have learnt in ten + years of crafting, running and promoting a website that actually deals with real people, it is that the smallest omission can cause the biggest problems. And also that content needs to be refreshed on a regular basis (like twice a year max) for it to be 'fresh' in the eyes of the search engines and other 'bots that lurk out there in the name of making it easier for folk to find what you have to offer.

And crafting a web page to be attractive to the casual consumer is way more than just bad grammar (although that counts poorly). It is the missed explanations, or badly worded explanations and a lack of detail that makes it possible for that pair of eyeballs to see at a glance what you have to offer and be comfortable enough with it to make that split-second decision to purchase, to get, to acquire and to otherwise own whatever it is you are offering.

It may be comparatively easy if you are selling clothing (depending on how 'deep' you want folk to go). It is quite difficult when you are, like me, selling a product that protects a valuable and sensitive piece of hi-tech electronics.

Case in Point: Our cases now hold a wee magnet and a couple of steel plates that we use to close the top. This exercise was something I undertook last year after the factory decided they could do the job. They did. But poorly. So it was up to me to come up with a solution. Which I did. It was elegant and it works just fine.

But one problem a lot of folk have with their delicate electronics is that they can "possibly" be effected by stray magnetics...just like in the early days when people freaked about the potential for damage because of the actual cell phone signals. We went down that path, exploring the possibility of minimising the effects of the cell phone signals...and even discovered a paint that used copper in solution to provide a buffer. Problem was, the scientists said that if a cellphone lost signal it automatically increased its reception 'volume' to compensate. So if we had used the paint, we would really have been putting people at risk. We didn't.

Anyway I digress. I have to assure people that our system of using a magnet to close the case is safe for their machines. I got a magnetometer at our local magnet supplier and ran it over the device. Inside the 'zone' the magnetism was way high. On the other side of the zone, outside the area being directly affected by the magnet, the reading was near enough to zip, Nada, nothing.

I even took a couple of images and have posted them in the FAQ section someplace that clearly shows the difference between unshielded and shielded. They are pretty good, if I say so myself.
But they are not enough if you do not tell folk they are there. Which I have done in several places.

Unfortunately those places are maybe not the places my punters casually look at, unless they go searching, which thankfully a lot of them do. But there's a lot that don't. And they are the problem children of this modern age.

Recently I have been looking at a redesign of product pages. An easy task you might think. Not so.

Unfortunately the catalog, web engine, up in the cloud system I use takes each product page when it is created and turns it into a frozen moment in time; there is no way to do any global editing.

So here I am...I have to change the static pages by hand to make any changes.

That means crafting the page as I want it to look, then looking at the html code and then cutting and pasting that code, when I am finally satisfied it is as correct as I can have it be, into each of the product pages I want to alter to make more attractive. And that is every one. More than 560 of the things.

A labour. For sure.

A labour of love. Now you have to be joking.
Don't you?

ENDEND