Thursday, March 26, 2009

In hindsight, age does have its advantages

Imagine you in a few years time.

OK, maybe not. But think.

If and when you do make it through to the far side, eventually stuff is going to come back, out of your past, to haunt you.

Like, for example. Take me.

Finally, a big bit of past came back, albeit briefly, to haunt me today.

Stuff that happened 22 years ago (when I was young and foolish, with a bulletproof complexion)came back to threaten my very existence; my way of life; my current, (self-contained but slightly out of control) now.

As the result of one (well maybe 10) minutes over exuberance caused by a combination lead foot and willful disregard for convention brought on by one-to-many Guinness's, an early hour and an empty (seemingly) stretch of motorway.

Bad combination, especially around Auckland these days.

(I tell you, he came off the slip road like he'd just been shot.
Took him a while too. We now know the SVX is limited to 180.
Pity the offramp was not just that little bit closer.
Still, at least it was a fine, warm summer's night.
Not a bad walk back from the station.)

But eventually, the day of reckoning arrived. As I knew it must. Eventually.

There I was, caught squarely on the horns of a dilemma. Not a nice place to be.

And then to top it off, there was a stickler for the rules behind desk.
"If it's three times then you are out!"

Discretion? Unlikely.

Under our current laws 3 times means 3 months at Her Majesties pleasure, and/or $7k fines, as well as 12 months without licence. Minimum!

So you can possibly see why I was somewhat disgruntled.

But fate intervened.

"Courtroom 2 is going to be full today. Use Courtroom 1."

New bench, new rules.

"Considering the time that has lapsed, it's a first offence. But be warned, screw up and we'll clobber you. Six months and $350 fine. Oh yes, and $150 court costs. Next!"

As your honour pleases.


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